10 Year Facebook Challenge

So, a week ago a new Facebook Challenge emerged.  It was a challenge to post your first Facebook profile picture from 10 years ago (or so) and the most recent one.  The profile photos of friends popped up on my timeline.  They all made me smile for various reasons.  It may have been the hairdos, the adorable children that had morphed into teenagers, or some sweet memory of that person from the last 10 years.  Not one of the recent pictures struck me as worse than the one a decade ago.  In nearly every case, my friend looked more polished, pleasantly content, and stunningly beautiful for her age.

Okay.  I’ll play along.  Challenge accepted.  This might actually be fun.  I have no idea what picture was my first Facebook profile picture.  More importantly, it couldn’t possibly be 10 years since I joined Facebook.  Where had the decade gone?  Is Facebook partially responsible for making time go faster?  Does each year blur just a little bit more because we limp from one Facebook photo event (Mother’s Day, Easter, First Day of School, Summer Vacations, Halloween) to the next?  These are the fleeting thoughts of an ADHD brain as the correct profile photo folder is located.

Scroll. Scroll. Scroll to look for that first picture.  I’m certain there is a more direct way to reach that first picture, but I never cared enough to learn the intricacies of the app.  I’m old.  I’ve arrived.  Technology is eluding me.  Ahhh… found it.  Yep, I remember this picture well.  It was a family beach trip to Gulf Shores. We all wore white for the obligatory ocean photo opp.  The kids were so little.  Both boys were younger than my surprise 3rd son is now.  They seemed so much older at the time.  My middle son was crazy blond.  Man, I miss that invisible hair.  How have I aged?  Ten years ago my hair was longer, teeth whiter, eyebrows tamer, and a few less wrinkles. Thank goodness for boxed hair dye.

My eyes move to my husband.  Wow.  Just wow.  Gut punch.  He looks nothing like he does now.  FTD is real.  Here it is in full color.  He now resembles the hundreds of other FTD spouses that are on the spouses forum, ironically, on Facebook.  The uncontrollable weight gain, unnatural facial expressions, and glazed eyes are glaringly obvious.  Dang.  So much has changed in ten years.  So much has changed physically but, also, emotionally, intellectually, and in his capacity to do basic things.  I can’t post this.  It hurts too much.  Time.  I need time to process this. Tailspin. It will take a week to fully reconcile this innocent moment.  My husband has changed.  He will never be the same.  There is no turning back time.  We all have changed. We’re stronger, wiser, and holding on to pieces of our former selves with all our might.

So, to cope I put on my new Airpods and dial up some U2, Indigo Girls, and a little Hootie & the Blowfish from 30 years ago.  Because, that gives me peace.  Life was simple, then.  Facebook didn’t exist.